In the true spirit of journalistic responsibility, we welcome and encourage reader feedback.
Caving in to the whims of readers is how Journalism became the great institution it is today. Case in point: Long ago, newspaper articles were made up of words that were painstakingly glued onto a page, usually in long strips called "columns." Readers of newspapers, heralds and gazettes around America were forced to scan long blocks of text and process extensive reels of information and facts.
As American society progressed, people decided they hated this. Mounting complaints stated that discovering information about the world around them while using this method was, in fact, too cumbersome. Readers didn't have time to sit, read and process.
These readers began to stage riots. "No more text for information!" the protesters screamed. Reporters were shot dead in the streets and copy editors were forced, at gunpoint, to chop 35-inch stories about presidential elections into more accessible 7-inch breakout boxes. Statistically, the average American newspaper page made the transition from four stories per page to 16 stories, 27 breakout boxes, four multi-colored pie charts and at least one photo of a group of people holding a thing and smiling. Thanks to these reader-fueled advances, everyone from college professors to dyslexic five-year-olds can read and understand an American newspaper.
See? You, too, can make a difference.
If you have problems, praise, questions, blanket statements or male enhancement issues, feel free to get in touch with us.
Here's how:
1. Send an e-mail to flotsammedia - AT - gmail - DOT - com
2. Leave a comment on one of our posts
3. Check out our MySpace page. If you're a girl with a bikini and a camera phone, we know you've got one.
4. Send a telegram to Marv
5. Hire a skywriter
6. Facsimile
7. Papyrus in a bottle; send west on Platte River
Can't wait to hear from you.
Marv Blackstone, Editor-in-Chief
Marv is one of journalism's grizzled veterans. A newsroom mainstay at institutions such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Columbia Journalism Review and the Pahrump (Nevada) Daily Wishbone, Marv has covered sports for more than 40 years. The most exciting sports event he has covered is Joe Theismann's career-ending knee injury, and he was among the first to report on the now-infamous Sixto Lexcano scandal in 1982. Marv resides somewhere in Montana.
Agatha Moonfry
Thrust from the gloomy aether of modern civilization, Agatha employs a metaphysical and spiritual distaste for the environment that has prioritized athletics among its most cherished peculiarities. Still, she is deviously tickled by some of the country's faux heroes, mostly the dark and handsome Scott Spiezio, and she also enjoys the merits of industrial metal, thrill-seeking, frivolous arson, constant napping and Halloween parties. She doesn't shop at Bed Bath.
Bandwagon Burt
Burt is a long-time sports fan who grew up in Tacoma, Wash. without any trace of athletic ability. However, a chipper demeanor and a "clinically crippling" case of ADHD has made him one of the Internet's most avid sports fans. Burt now makes his home in Naples, Fla. and enjoys rooting for his favorite sports teams: the AL Central, the NL East, the NFC West and the Los Angeles Lakers.
Curtis Woodsworth
Curtis enjoys baking, interior design, knitting, Parcheesi, kittens of all ages, woolen shawls, scrapbooks, horsies, fine china, legumes, gooey chocolate chip cookies and stereotypes. He's an occasionally avid sports fan.
Dakota Brezinski
At age seven, Dakota is the youngest of the Flotsam contributors. He prefers going potty, wearing mittens, making snow angels, sniffing glue, throwing rocks at Caitlin, playing checkers against Mr. Invisible Andy, and swimming with floaty-thingies in the Brezinski family pool. Dakota has never been to a professional sporting event, but he likes watching sports on television in two to three minute increments.
DeJuan C3P0
From the most fly of SoCal beach houses, DeJuan spits at you with attitude and deep knowledge of the human condition. A former Los Angeles-based rapper, C3P0 (nee Rogers) was fired by his previous employer following a largely wack accusation of pyrotechnic negligence, but he has brought his ill attention to detail to the front lines of Flotsam sports coverage. He is black.
