Eli's Cheesecake

By Bandwagon Burt
Wind Sock

Charisma, baby!

LITTLE ELI is going to the Super Bowl, something I totally called the day he was drafted by the New York Giants! I turned to my friends and said, you know what? Look at that guy with that beaming smile. He's got it. I don't know what it is, but he's got it. It's charisma. He's going to the Super Bowl someday.

He proved EVERYONE WRONG, including his detractors, doubters, older brother Peyton, Tiki Barber, the Green Bay Packers, and ALL OF NEW YORK. Start spreading the news (Sinatra was even singing about New York when he sang that, haha!), that ELI MANNING IS GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL. I totally saw this coming, and I couldn't be prouder of my foresight.

While everyone was clamoring for Eli to be traded or demoted or whatever, I totally stood up and said, "that guy is going to be fine, he just needs some time." You could totally see him develop a rapport with Plaxico Burress, probably the best receiver in the NFL. And even though nobody was cheering for him at the end (cuz the game was in Green Bay, of course!), Eli has risen to the top of the heap.

Plus, he has Brandon Jacobs. BRANDON JACOBS KILLED A MAN YESTERDAY ON THE FIELD. I saw it. They kept it hush hush on the television, but he totally killed him. Broke him into pieces in the deep Wisconsin freeze. Chill out, I'm kidding!

The Giants are such a scary football team right now, a SERIOUS THREAT to the Patriots undefeated dynasty. I'm worried about it, being a devout Patriots fan myself, because Eli is playing better than ever before. San Diego traded him for Philip Rivers on draft day -- how CRAZY! That's the reason San Diego lost in the AFC title game, and the Giants are going to the Super Bowl. Bad trade.

I can't spell Osi Umenyora or whatever, but I like him too! THE GIANTS ARE MOTORING, and guess what? They're officially THE VISITING TEAM in the Super Bowl, and they are 10-1 on the road this year! It's going to be a barn-burner!

Final score: Patriots 42, Giants 16.